I feel small

I want to cry and can’t

There is nothing…no tears, no dampness, no wet

Nothing

Nothing but gray

A vapor

A mist

Sometimes a thick fog

The color gray in various shades have been the colors in my head

I hear music

Constant

The volume is loud

The beat is steady

At least it’s music I like

Then there is the pain

The vise-like grip around my brain

In varying degrees

For two days I’ve had relief

But I can feel its claws

Waiting

Wanting to take a hold

I don’t remember my dreams

Sleep disrupted

Then sitting at my desk

Heart beating fast

Beating loud

For no reason

Nothing is going on, yet something’s wrong

At home it’s the same

Sitting alone hearing my heartbeat

Feeling my heartbeat, it’s so strong

Very aware that I’m alive

I’m not stressed

I’m not in danger

I am

Alone?